More and more people today realise the importance of loving what they do for a living. When we give too much of our time to activities that we do not enjoy we are very often decreasing the quality of our lives without even realising it. Too many of us are stuck in jobs, positions or relationships that we do not really want to be in. This article explores why we resist changes in our lives and how to break through the limitations. You will find out how to discover what kind of work is suitable for your personality and will move you closer to more fulfilling life.
We all have different reasons for doing the jobs we do. Usually our life circumstances somehow “force us” to become whatever we are. I was always trying to work out what kind of job or activity would make me happy, what am I good at and where can I be the most useful. Unfortunately I always struggled with it, unable to find out what is it that would put a smile on my face while I am submerged in the daily tasks of the job. Something that would put me in the flow where time stops and everything just flows. I asked many people how they have come to do what they do and if they are happy and many said that it just happened to them. They always wanted to be this or that but somehow it never happened and their dreams just disappeared and they stopped thinking about it. They might have started a family, bought a house and needed a job to pay for the bills....
If you are in a similar situation you should start dreaming again. It does not matter if you are 26 or 60. It is never too late to make the move and start to live your dreams. Sometimes you just have to dig deep to reveal them. Believe me they are there... When we are around 6 or 7 years of age we start to form our ideal life for ourselves. At this age we know exactly what we are good at and what we enjoy doing. However, when we reach puberty we start to forget where our strengths are and what we enjoy. By the time we are out of school or even university we have in most cases totally overwritten all of our dreams with something that was “forced” on us by parents, friends, media, school and other external influences. Just because you studied law when you were 20 doesn’t mean you have to be a lawyer for the rest of your life. Maybe you always loved music or art and your current work doesn’t leave you with any time to focus on it.
When you start spending more of your time focusing on work you are good at, your life will open up to new possibilities. You will notice more energy and happiness flowing through your being. You will experience more inner peace and calmness. What is really good is you will lose track of time, you will love Monday mornings and won’t mind staying late at work if needed. You will see it as part of your live, as something that you choose to do instead of having to do.
Now let’s talk about how you can find out what you are good at. Try to have fun with this. There are many different approaches you can use here but I like the simple one.
Find a place where you can be alone for a while. Make sure you won’t be disturbed. Turn off your mobile phone and try to relax and centre yourself. Grab a piece of paper or open your Word processor and write down everything you enjoyed as a kid. Do not think about it too much. Look back to your childhood around the ages of 7 and 12 years old, what did you love back then? What did you like to do? Did you like drawing, singing, reading? What did you read? What kind of things did you think about? What did you like to watch on TV? What did you talk to your friends about? What kind of activities did you enjoy? Write it all down. Everything that comes to your mind.
OK, that’s the first part done. It might look like a big mess but later it will all come together.
Now imagine this. Everything in your life is possible. You have everything you can think of. Everything is perfect. You do not need to impress anyone; you have all the money you need. You do not need to work if you choose not to. You have travelled the world and done everything else you always wanted to try. You’ve seen all the TV shows and know everything you could know. Now what? Well you’ve done it all so you can just sit at home and stare at the walls... OR you can think about ways to serve the world. How would you spend your time? What would you enjoy doing? Again, write it all down. Whatever comes to your mind. Keep going until your mind is completely empty. Just let it flow; do not think about it too much. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous your answers might be. If a garbage man comes to your mind, write it down. It’s better to be a happy garbage man then an unhappy neurosurgeon... Remember: Have fun with it.
Now the last part. Imagine yourself very old. Sitting at the backyard of your home, you might be 80 or 90, you cannot work anymore. Your body doesn’t let you move much. All you are left with is you mind. You can spend all time you have only reflecting on you life. What do you see? What made you happy in your past? What did you enjoy doing? What made your heart sing? How did you serve others? Did you make a difference? What are others saying about you? What do you want them to see you as? Write the answers down, everything that comes up.
Now look at these three parts and reflect on it for a while. Can you see any similarity? If yes, circle or highlight them. Find all the common threads running through your entire life. You will probably end up with more then one. They might be personality traits, activities, ideas... For this purpose just pick the activities you enjoy and things you are good at. Now give them numbers from 1 to 5 with 1 being the most appealing. You should end up with only a few numbered one. Those are the things you should focus on and do in your life.
If you are like me you might find that you want to do them all. That’s OK. You probably can do them all. But start with one or two and then see what happens. You might find out that in a few months or years the priority will change and you will lose interest. This is a part of life. Some people are lucky to have one occupation that they love and spend doing their entire life. Others, also lucky, have to go through many other occupations before they end up doing the job they love. Sometimes we need to learn other skills necessary to be good at the ideal job and all the other will provide us with proper training
In case you struggled with the suggested exercise I recommend you ask yourself daily the following question: How may I serve? or How can I help? Just keep asking and the answer might come unexpected while you are driving, quietly reflecting on your day or eating you dinner.
I believe that we are here on this planet equipped with a certain sets of skills and unique ways of expressing those skills. You might be a great artist and a way to express this gift might be through making flowers bouquets, taking photographs or painting. You can see the end result is very different but the personality traits might be very similar for all of those jobs. They require a great deal of creativity. So if you are creative, think about all the ways you could express this personal trait. If you are supportive, analytical, entertaining or good at convincing others find a way to express those traits.
I would like to refer you to the following website in case you need more help:
I personally tried their test and I was very pleased to find out what I already knew. It gave me piece of mind that what I concluded with the technique mentioned above was correct. This test will give you a detailed description of your personality trait and suggest many possible occupations suitable for you. The choice is yours.
The following book is also helpful:
What Color Is Your Parachute? 2007: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers
It will help you to not only find a job (in case you are interested to do work for somebody rather than run your own business) it will also determine what the right career path is for you.
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We have now found out what it is that we should do. Now it is time to implement this finding into our lives. Many of us know what we love to do but cannot find the strength to move on. We are afraid of change because the current situation gives us a sense of security, we might be afraid of failure or of other people’s judgements. Whatever it is that holds us back, we have to identify it and remove it from our way. (Read an article on fear, in case that is what you need to overcome.)
I do not recommend that you make any drastic changes to your life. It is up to you but I prefer slow transitions. There might be many ways how you can start doing the work you love. You might ask your employer to transfer you to a different department for example, from Administration to Sales. Or you might start your own part time business or find a night time course at the local college. Do anything that will bring you closer to your goal. Make that first step now. Do not hesitate. Sometimes you need to take a few steps before you can become what you want to be. If you love the theatre you might initially have to become a backstage technician but as long as you are close to what you love that is what is important. When you make your fist step you will be exactly one step closer to your dream life. Usually what happens is that as soon as you make that first step something interesting happens. You might meet somebody who can help you or you find important information that will move you forward.
The first step is the hardest and for those who find themselves struggling with this, you should find a personal coach or ask a close friend for help. Talk to them about your intentions and what you need to do and ask them to make sure you do whatever needs to be done. Use rewards and punishment for yourself for example, give a friend $50.00 and tell them that if you do not make the required step by a certain date they can keep your $50.00. If you have a coach, just paying for your sessions and the embarrassment when your coach finds out that you did nothing you agreed on should be enough to motivate you.
Try to find your own ways to motivate yourself. Reflect every morning on you goals, see yourself living a new life with your dream job and celebrate every time you get closer. Keep in mind that nothing happens overnight, be patient.
Good luck on your journey.
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